The FISH results from the amnio are in. It is confirmed, we are having a boy. Good thing too, I already picked out the name.
So good news is also bad news. Triploidy has been confirmed. For some reason I was not shocked. I couldnt cry anymore, there is nothing left. My tears are drained, and my body is too physically tired for more emotions right now.
Triploidy is lethal. Again, we were asked if we wanted to terminate. We still can if we want. I said no. I didnt fight this hard and get so close to almost laying my baby to rest too early. This is what I told the Geneticist from Abbott...
I want a team of doctors who are not going to even use the term "lethal" ever when speaking to me about my baby. I already know that, I already know what I am dealing with and what my choices are. I do no need to be reminded by them. The kicks and punched of my baby remind me; remind me of how blessed I am to be trusted with this life.
I want a team of doctors who are going to continue in caring for me and my baby as far as this pregnany will take us. I want ateam of doctors who have the same mindset and hope as I do; that is to not give up. I need them to focus on life and not death. I need them to think of what to do to save the baby. The end goal is for the baby to be born alive. I will NOT deliver without a C-section. The risks for me to have a c-section are far less severe than the risks of a vaginal birth to a triploidy or spina bifida baby; now add the two together.
All my care is to be transferred from CentraCare to Abbott. I will be meeting with the Neonatal people and taking a tour of the NICU at Children's. We will be using this time to create our team of doctors. Any one who stands in our way and says "no" will be kicked out of the team and replaced by someone who says "yes".
This is my life, my body and I am tired of people telling me what to do. I am calling the shots now. They work for ME! It is not the other way around. If one more person says the word "lethal" to me again, I will completely cross them out as a respectable resource and find another way.
Our baby has already proven to be a miracle in itself. Supposedly triploidy babies do not even make it this far in the womb. Mine has. We saw major defects in ultrasound 1 and 2, and then they were gone, completely gone in ultrasound 3 and 4! Some one explain that!
I am still very scared and nervous, for my life and my baby's. But I can go on knowing that I am a fighter and so is my son. I am scared to loose my baby. I am also scared that my baby might actually live, and then I have to learn how to care for him. I am just plain scared.
Today I am supposed to be going to Centracare to be tested for preclampsia. This is the major risk of continuing the pregnancy. Hope it turns out well...
Thursday, April 15, 2010
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