Why? Why does life have to get yet that much harder when it is already hard enough?
I looked forward all weekend to a fun scrap booking day with my girlfriends today. I was sad most of the time as I stared blankly through pictures of Elijah. I got three pages done. I had fun... but was sad on the inside.
I felt miserable for the rest of the night. I ended up going to my mom's house for some motherly comfort.
When I got home, I felt much better and knew tomorrow will be a better day. I was wrong.
My husband told me my dad messaged him to let him know that my Grandmother is in the hospital. She had an aneurysm rupture and barely made it. She has lost over five liters of blood. She had surgery and will need to be sedated for the next 72 hours to prevent any pressure within her body.
Not only did an aneurysm rupture, but the doctors founds more aneurysms, many more. Just sitting there, waiting to take my Grandmother away from me.
How am I to deal with healing from the loss of my son, and now my Grandmother? I cant take any more loss, no more heartache. I need it to stop. I need the people I love most in my life right now to be with me. I love my Grandma, I love my Elijah too.
I really hope that my sweet Angel baby is up there in Heaven, telling God just how much I need my Grandma to stay here with us right now. I hope Elijah is her own personal Guardian Angel.
Life is so unfair. Why?
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THIS IS MY JOURNEY OF RAISING A CHILD WITH FOOD ALLERGIES, LOSING AN INFANT TO TRIPLOIDY, BEING A WIFE, AND LEARNING DAY-BY-DAY HOW TO BE A BETTER AND STRONGER PERSON. MY GOAL IS TO INSPIRE HOPE IN OTHERS AND ENCOURAGE LIFE TO GO ON EVEN THOUGH GOD THROWS OUT A CURVE BALL EVERY NOW AND THEN.
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About Me
- MrsMamiC
- Saint Cloud Area, Minnesota, United States
- I am a 31 year old mother to a beautiful and fun loving son, Paighton, who conqured food allergies, Baby Elijah, born with Full Triploidy and Spina Bifida, now in Heaven, and Theodore "Theo" the Rainbow after the Storm; a wife to the most amazing and supportive husband; and a friend to anyone who needs one.
2010
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2010
2 comments:
Everything's Going to Be All Right!
Did you know that God wants to make a trade with you? He has a standing offer every minute of every day, and it’s amazing how few of us actually take Him up on it. He wants you to give Him all your cares, problems and failures. In return He’ll give you His peace and joy. On top of that, He promises to protect and take care of you.
God really does want to take care of us, but in order to let Him, we’ve got to stop trying to take care of ourselves and worrying about every little thing we can’t control. Many people would like for God to take care of them, but they insist on worrying or trying to figure out an answer on their own, instead of waiting for God’s direction. They wallow around in puddles of their own worry, wondering why God doesn’t give them peace. God will give us peace, but we must first give Him our worries.
We give God our worries by trusting that He can and will take care of us. By trusting God, we’re able to rest in Him, knowing that He has the situation well under control. Worry, on the other hand, is the opposite of trust. Worry steals our peace, wears us out physically, and can even make us sick. If we’re worrying, we’re not fully trusting God, and we’ll never be able to experience His peace.
What a great trade! We give God our worry, and He gives us His peace. We give Him all our cares and concerns, and He gives us His protection, stability and joy. That’s the privilege of being cared for by Him.
Because He cares for us, He wants us to live in peace and not all tied up in knots of worry. He has ways of guiding us toward peace if we’re alert enough to sense His direction.
Imagine that you’re driving down a road. Along the way there are signs that provide direction or give warning. If you pay attention to the signs and follow their instructions, you will safely reach your destination.
In the same way, on the road of life there are spiritual signs along the way. In order to stay under God’s protection, you must obey these signs that tell you to trust Him and not worry. Don’t be afraid; have courage. If you’ll pay attention to these signs, you’ll find it’s easy to stay on course. You’ll experience the protection, peace and joy that only God can provide.
However, if you fail to heed the signs, you may notice that the road seems a little bumpier than usual, and you aren’t as confident in your ability as you once were. You may become anxious about the unknown things waiting around the corner, and even veer off the road.
Anxiety is like putting on a heavy coat on a hot summer day. It weighs you down. It’s difficult to move and stifling to wear. According to Webster’s Dictionary, anxiety is “a state of being uneasy, apprehensive, or worried….” Sometimes this uneasiness is really vague—something we just can’t put our finger on. All we know is that we’re uneasy.
You and I don’t need to be anxious about tomorrow when we have all we can handle today. Even if we manage to solve all our problems today, we’ll just have more to deal with tomorrow…and more the next day.
Why waste time worrying when it’s not going to solve anything? Why be anxious about yesterday, which is gone, or tomorrow, which hasn’t arrived yet? Trade in your worries today for God’s peace. Remember, everything’s going to be all right.
We learn daily the lesson of trust and calm in the midst of the storms of life. Whatever sorrow or difficulty the day may bring, God's command to you is the same. Be grateful, humble, calm, and loving to all people. Leave each soul the better for having met you or heard you. For all kinds of people, this should be your attitude: a loving desire to help and an infectious spirit of calmness and trust in God. You have the answer to loneliness and fear, which is calm faith in the goodness and purpose in the universe.
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