I lay awake every night with my thoughts circling about in my mind like a chaotic hurricane. I know its coming, but yet I fail to prepare for it. I think of things that keep me pondering; questions without answers. It is very much like eating soup without a spoon... pointless.
I am asked to help others. My question, am I really of any help right now? I feel like I am more harmful than helpful. A time bomb with just seconds to spare before all hell breaks loose.
I am supposed to be the strong one; well that is how everyone else thinks anyways. Ha, what do you know? Nothing. You have even forgotten about my son anyways. No one remembers except my husband and I.
Then I think about things a little more present time. School, work, friends, and even family.
I have yet to finish my college degree but I feel so busy at work that I wouldn't be able to successfully balance both without taking away from either of them. I want to do my absolute 100% best in both areas; work and school. The how would that take away from my husband and son?
Most of my friends have very different lives than me. It is hard to keep up with them.
Family, well... that would take more time then I have tonight to explain. Let's just say, you can't choose family.
Where there is a will, there is a way right? So you have soup with no spoon?
I'd say wrap both hands around your bowl and lift...
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3 comments:
"wrap both hands around the bowl and lift." Good attitude. Tackle the problems and don't let them defeat you.
And you're right, you can't choose family. You can only decide when to let them into or out of your life.
I've never met you and likely never will, but I want you to know, with all sincerity, I think of your beloved Elijah every single day. You, your husband, and both your sons are always in my prayers.
We have never forgotten about sweet baby Elijah - Elijah blessed us beyond all other gifts we have had in our lives, and this blessing has given us the strength to move forward. So, thank you my baby. May you continue to live on in the hearts and minds of us all and may we continue to embrace the lessons you taught us.Not only have you changed us forever, you ARE us forever.You have become part of who we are as people, and we will never be the same people we were before you came into our lives. As we walk on this earth without your physical presence, we carry you with us in our hearts. Love and kisses - Gramma and Grandpa
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