Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Pizza Pizza

As most people in my life know, my son Paighton has severe food allergies to dairy, eggs, and nuts. Well, let's just say HAD these allergies.

He is no longer allergic to dairy! He is still allergic to eggs, but not nuts; although his allergist says to still keep him away from any type of nut especially peanuts.

I have searched the nutritional facts and ingredients of common and popular restaurants in the area. I found a complete egg-free menu for Applebees and many items from McDonald's that are safe for him to eat. Not that I am excited about McDonald's, but it is nice to know if I am ever far from home with a hungry toddler.

Today I found myself thinking about pizza. I was in the mood for pizza and wanted to find out how to make my own. Then I started to get lazy and resorted to what I know how to navigate a little better: the Internet. I am not that great of a cook. I usually have to experiment and fail several times before mastering a dish. Tonight was not a night for experiments.

I found that the only local pizza that is safe for him to eat is from Domino's. I called to speak to someone and place an order instead of ordering online, like I would normally do. The guy assured me he would take extra caution in making sure our pizzas were safe for my son. Of course, there was still some risk for cross contamination. Some of their sauces, especially white sauces have egg in the ingredients. They even labeled the boxes to ensure brand new clean utensils were used in handling our pizzas. I was so grateful.

It felt so nice to eat like a 'normal' family tonight. I don't know how long its been since I ate pizza without having to wait for my son to go to bed. He seemed to really enjoy it too. He had double-pineapple pizza and a cinna-stix with some frosting. He was so sticky!

It really makes me feel good as a mom to see happiness in my son's eyes. All these new foods he was once never allowed are now allowed. He is so interested in foods of all kinds. He especially likes string cheese. When he says "mmmm", my heart says "awe".

I think partly the reason why I feel good deep down inside by feeding people is from how I grew up. I come from a large family; a family that likes to eat. You cant walk away from the table without my grandmother sneaking a couple extra spoonfuls of something onto your plate; and then there is dessert. And not just dessert, but lots of desserts. My husband's favorite dessert that my grandmother makes is her cherry cha-cha. He could eat half the pan. I cant wait to share it with Paighton now when the holidays come around.

So Domino's pizza is now an added food to my list of "Paighton-Safe". Although it is challenging at times with his food allergies, it is getting much easier. It is so exciting sharing my food with him. I love my little cutie-patootie!

Our future President?

I recently learned of a man. A man with constant trials and tears; just the same as my own. Could this man really be our President sometime in the future?

His name is Rick Santorum. He has a daughter that was diagnosed with Trisomy 18 during pregnancy. Just like my Elijah and 'Sustaining Grace's' Grace, she was given no chance at life from every angle and every person, except two; her parents. Rick and his wife fought and still fight every day for their daughter's life. She is now 2-years old. Wow.

I wonder if I knew more, had more time, or was better prepared, would I have been able to save or give Elijah more time here on Earth?

Instead of changing my college career path from Pre-Med with intent to finish in Oncology to Accounting and Finance, maybe I would have been more educated in the science and biology of life and would have had a better understanding of which approach to take to sustain Elijah's life. It seems like Rick's wife is always fighting with health care professionals just to get the right care their daughter needs. Would it have been different for Elijah if I knew exactly what care he needed? Did I give him what he needed and not what I wanted? I cant help but to feel selfish for only allowing him to live for 2 hours so that family and I could simply hold him. Had I fought harder, I could have given him the two years Rick's daughter has been blessed to have. More family would have been able to hold him; I would have been able to hold him.

I want my baby back. I feel so uneducated and for those who know me, you know how much I hate that feeling. Education is vital. It is never given, it is earned and it can never be taken away. Without it we would be numb bodies wondering the world like zombies; no direction, no ability to sustain life, even our own. I feel useless, that I was so dumb I couldn't save my own child's life. Do I lack the common sense to fight for my family's God-given right to live?

I wish I knew more. I wish I knew more about life and how it physically functions so that I would have been able to save him. I know that you cant fix everything broken, but why not? What good am I as a person, as a mother, if I just sit back and let life take its course on its own? Why cant I intervene? With the guidance and power of God, why cant he help me intervene?

Maybe the possibility of Rick Santorum being our President someday could be the "intervention" for our babies when everyone is telling us "no", when the people in health care and insurance/benefits tells us "no, your baby's life is not worth saving or sustaining".

I am still trying to understand what Elijah's purpose is, although he has already changed the lives of others. I know he has a purpose, I see some of it, but not all of it. I need to know and understand his entire purpose as a whole. That may take some time. I need to know what my purpose is as well. What am I suppose to do with this experience? What am I suppose to learn and teach others from knowing Elijah for such a short time, but loving him for an eternity?

Maybe Rick's purpose from his experience with his daughter is to become our President. Maybe his purpose is to help us parents who want to say "yes" instead of "no". Seems like people who choose termination when given a fatal diagnosis get more help and support than those who choose continuing their pregnancy. Again, just to clarify, I am not passing judgement on those who have chosen termination, as it is a very personal situation and I do not know all the facts. I cannot pass judgement when I am uneducated on the matter. I am just simply saying that there is more help to terminate than there is to sustain. If the United States government is all for choices, where is my choice? My choice to sustain is almost impossible. Maybe Rick can help us forgotten people to be given an easier way to choose life, with the help and education of the health care system. We and our children need options to; we deserve it.

Please visit this link below to read an article written by Rick Santorum and his journey thus far in raising a 2-year old daughter with Trisomy 18. He has given her two years of life, something I wish I could have been able to give my sweet baby boy Elijah. I respect this man so much for not giving up. http://www.philly.com/inquirer/opinion/20100505_The_Elephant_in_the_Room__Two_years_worth_every_tear.html#axzz0r2CzVUNg